the long awaited opening meet of the year has finally come and is gone, it has opened up the season, got one under my belt, and is something that i can build off of.

javelin was the opening event of the day, and the day was not looking good. it was raining all day. we had some light sprinkles at times but while warming up we never really got a break. 45 minutes to start and i started warming up, i was feeling good. and the anticipation grew. i was getting nervous. it was my first time in the oregon jersey. i had something to prove, i had to show the team, the crowd, and the coaches who i was, and let them know that it wasnt a bad idea to recruit me. I felt a weakness and some shaky hands come over me, I couldn’t tell if it was from the nerves or because I hadn’t ate anything since breakfast at 9am (currently 11:45)

we got out on the field, the rain was still coming down but it was nice to get out there and start warming up. We had a large field of javelin throwers all in one flight, 12 of us in all, its nice to have flights around 8-10 people. But any more is just kind of crowded and long. But if you only have 12 athletes you can't really break that up.

The runway opened up and I jumped right on. I was only going to throw from a half approach for the meet so I started with something easy as a warm up, just 5 steps and throw. First warm up was in control, relaxed and flew really nice, I saw it over the 60m line (197) so I had a good feeling it was going to be a big day (later my coach told me it looked like about 64m (210’) I took a few more warm ups and each one was over the 60m line but I have no clue how far.

The meet started, I was the last thrower because I was ranked the highest. I got to cheer on friends, and teammates and finally I was up. It felt good to take off my sweats and reveal the Yellow Oregon jersey, instead of the lane CC jersey. I don’t know who really pays attention in the stands, but sometimes I wonder if anyone knows who I am, or if they enjoyed that I was wearing an Oregon jersey this year. The best throw of the day was 210’ by paul roshau and I really wanted to get the crowd pumped up, I wanted to have a big throw. I tried to get a slow clap, I think I had a few guys at the javelin runway clapping for me, and maybe my coach in the stands, it was a weak clap. But I was pumped up enough anyway. I ran into it and got to my block, and I swear everything just went black. I didn’t pass out but I just wasn’t in control of what was going on. I don’t remember what happened or how I really threw it, but I just remember screaming when I threw and seeing the javelin flight, it was just racing out of my hand, but it had the worst flight ever. It was wobbling everywhere and stalled out super fast and died. 212’ not impressive. I was hoping to throw in the 230’s after last weeks practice, so I was really disappointed. I told myself if I didn’t throw over 220 I would kill myself (not literally). Second throw was much like the first. But I got a little better flight out of it because I didn’t have as much nerves and adrenaline going through me. But it still wasn’t great. 218’11” I had no reached my goal, and if I didn’t throw further in the next 2 throws I was going to have to kill myself. I was in the lead but I was so not happy. My 3^rd throw I had backed up because I was so close to the foul line each throw, but with the added room my brain thought it could fit 2 more steps onto my approach as well. I blocked and balanced just on the line and I knew I couldn’t keep myself from falling over but it was definitely my best throw of the day, approx 225’ someone told me from the stands. So I scratched that one. 4^th and final throw I had the win already, I was the last thrower so it was just a throw for fun. I tried to get the crowd going a little bit but it didn’t help. I was 10 ft from the line and it was a throw of 217’9” it was not better. But I got the win. My thoughts of suicide for not throwing over 220 went away when one of our media guys asked me to take a victory lap and toss a t-shirt to a lucky fan. You just can't really complain about your distance when you win a meet. So I was happy after all.